FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS IN CHRISTSCRIPTURE READING: Ephesians 5:15-6:9

15. Be very careful, then, how you live

—not as unwise but as wise,

16. making the most of every opportunity,

(KJV.Redeem the time. WHAT IS THE OPPOSITE OF THIS?)

            because the days are evil.

17. Therefore, do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s

will is.

18. Do not get drunk on wine,

which leads to debauchery,

instead, be filled with the Spirit.

[WHAT DOES THIS LOOK LIKE IN THE CONTEXT OF OUR FAMILIES?]

19. Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs.

Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord,

  20. always giving thanks to God the Father for everything,

in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

INTRODUCTION TO WIVES (5: 22-24, 33b). We must begin by emphasizing that the instruction to wives to submit to their  

own husbands only serves as the model of mutual submission required of all Christians with each other in the body of Christ, which is the church. The word “submission” is not even used in the Greek text of verse 22. In the original v. 21 and 22, being read together merely state, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives to your husbands as to the Lord.”  The wife’s relation to the Lord is the basis, motivation, and qualification of her submission to her husband.

21. Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

22. Wives, submit to your [own] (tois idios) husbands as to the Lord.

 23. For the husband is the head of the wife

as Christ is the head of the church, [male chauvinism-unreasonable]

 his body, of which he is the Savior. [devotion to the male sex]

24. Now as the church submits to Christ,

 so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25.  Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

26. to make her holy,

cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,    

and to present her to himself as a radiant church,

·        without stain

·        or wrinkle

·        or any other blemish,

·        but holy and blameless.

28. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives

as their own bodies.

He who loves his wife loves himself. 

29. After all, no one ever hated his own body,

but feeds and cares for it,

just as Christ does the church

30.—for we are members of his body.

31. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,

and the two will become one flesh.” 

32. This is a profound mystery

—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 

33. However, each one of you must love his wife

       as he loves himself,

and the wife must respect her husband. Fear and love are also in tension and are best combined in translation as “Respect”.

Ephesians 6:1-9

1. CHILDREN, Obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 

2. “Honor your father and mother”      Ten C. Exo.20:12

—which is the first commandment with a promise

3.—that it may go well with you

. and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”

4. FATHERS, do not exasperate your children;

 instead, bring them up in the training ands instruction of the Lord.   The Amplified NT. renders this verse; ”Fathers, do not irritate and provoke your children to anger—do not exasperate them to resentment—but rear them [tenderly] in the training and discipline and the counsel and admonition of the Lord.”

5. SLAVES, Probably the first thing from this scripture that jumps out at you is the bit about “slaves” What!!

The apostle Paul was addressing the culture in which he lived. Slavery was a major part of Mid-Eastern culture. Slaves were part of the Mid-Eastern household.

The chain of authority in the Roman family started with the grandfather (power of life and death of new borns; the model for the mafia’s godfather), the father, the wife, the children, and the slaves.

 obey your earthly masters with

·        respect

·        and fear,

·        and with sincerity of heart,

·         just as you would obey Christ.

6. Obey them not only to win their favor when their eye is on you,

·        but like slaves of Christ,

·        doing the will of God from your heart.

 7. Serve whole heartedly,

 as if you were serving the Lord, not men,

8. because you know that the Lord

will reward every one for whatever good he does,

whether he is slave or free.

Paul had an assignment from the Lord. It was not cultural reform. Cultural reform came later, because of salvation. When the number of “Born-Again” people reached critical mass [that means, not a majority, but a large enough number to exert pressure for social change] those very necessary changes took place.

In England that time was 1833 under the influence the Evangelical Christian, William Wilberforce. The same year our church was born.

In America that time was 1863 with Abraham Lincoln’s Emancipation Proclamation.  But in the world at large slavery still exists, even in the “enlightened” United States of America.

Sometimes “slavery” occurs within families. Where the husband treats his wife as a slave, or the parents treat their children as slaves, or the parents allow their children to treat them like slaves.

There is a particularly virulent type of slavery that can take place in our prison system among the inmates.  There is a slavery that takes place in business, in the boss/employee relationship, but in the ancient world slavery was an accepted household arrangement.

9. And masters, treat your slaves in the same way.  Do not threaten them, since you know that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no favoritism with him.

THE HOUSE CODES (5:22-33).

House Codes is the label assigned to those sections of Ephesians, Colossians and 1 Peter that give instructions to wives and husbands, children and parents, slave and slave masters.

 While these three relationships were frequently addressed by Greek and Jewish writers as “just the way things are,” no source for the Christian house codes has been discovered.

Christians had to treat these subjects, at least in part, because the Christian family values did not reflect that of the surrounding pagan culture.

 If you look at the differences today it is still evident that the ideally Christian household marches to the beat of a different drummer. Our focus is

·        on freedom and responsibility,

·         (Agape) love

·        and following Christ with the ethics of WWJD. 

In the days of the Romans, Christians were accused of destroying their society with their focus on

·        freedom, love, and following Christ.

Non-Christians needed to know that this was not the case, and Christians needed to be taught the relevance of their faith:

·        for their primary family relations

·        and their relations with their neighbors.

.  Unlike other house codes, Christian house codes, focused not only on:

·        wives,

·        children

·        and slaves,

but also on the RESPONSIBILITIES of the more powerful persons

·        husbands,

·         parents,

·        and masters.

In verse 24 the words “in everything” indicate all spheres of life are included in this submission, provided, of course,

·        that it is in keeping with life lived “to the Lord.”

Verse 23 is surely one of the most abused and debated texts in the New Testament. Its focus is not on the privilege and dominance of the husband,

 and Paul never intended to suggest that wives were servants, compelled to follow any and every desire of the husband.  The text does not tell women to blindly obey their husbands, nor does it give any license for husbands to attempt to force submission.

Ephesians 5:23 does not focus on authority, but on the self-giving of both Christ and the husband. The word “Head” in this context suggests “responsibility for.”  The husband has a leadership role, though not in order to boss his wife around or use his position as privilege.

Just as Jesus redefined greatness as being a servant (Matt.20:26-27), Paul redefines being head as having responsibility

·        to love,

·        to give oneself,

·        and to nurture. 

A priority is placed on the husband, but contrary to ancient society, It is for the benefit of the wife.

The activity of both wife and husband is

·        based in their relation to Christ and in his giving himself for the church.

Although Paul makes explicit the priority or responsibility of the husband,

the text also assumes the oneness and equality of husband and wife in 5:28 and 31.

·        Both headship and equality must be given their due.

·         As elsewhere, the truth is in the tension of the text.

INSTRUCTIONS TO HUSBANDS (5; 25a, 28-29a, 31,33a).

Since wives are asked to submit, one might expect the text would ask husbands to rule in an appropriate way.

·        It does not;

·        instead, it asks husbands to love and give themselves with the same self-giving love that Christ had in giving himself for the church.

       In the ancient world husbands had relatively few obligations beyond providing food and shelter.  They were free to do as they pleased, whereas wives were obligated to do domestic chores and to do what their husbands required.

 Paul’s words change the picture dramatically.

  Rather than being guided by self-interests, the husband is asked to place the well-being of his wife first and to give himself to caring for her.

Ephesians 5:28 applies the commandment to love one’s neighbor as oneself (Lev.19:18) specifically to the wife.

·        Both the writer of Leviticus and Paul assume that a person will look after his or her own interests and welfare, and both seek the same for other people.

·         In the end love is a matter of justice for the other person,

·        but elevated to the degree that one is willing to forego one’s own rights, interests and desires.

·         Paul here assumes a Godly relationship expressed in the oneness of the husband and wife based on Gen. 2:24.

Consequently, the idea of hating or neglecting one’s wife is as strange as hating or neglecting oneself.

Christ’s love motivated him to give himself for the good of the church. Christian husbands must follow the same pattern and love enough to give themselves for their wives.

Throwing off the insensitive ways of the world around us is a process.  Our goal should be to adopt the mind of Christ as husbands and wives relate to each other.

ON BEING GODLY PARENTS:

We must first seriously evaluate the manner in which we husbands love our wives in the presence of our children.

 Children feel secure when they see genuine love displayed reciprocally between their mothers and fathers. 

·        This agape love spills over and nourishes our relationship with our kids.

·        That agape love reaches out and embraces our children.

o       This engenders trust, security and obedience.

o       Your pastor ascribes to the creed of the Promise Keepers.

Here basically is what I know:

1.  We men have to know our Creator better.

2.  We men need to be closer to our wives and family.

·        immediate

·        our own parents, siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles.

3.  We men need to tear down the walls of division—

·        in our relationship with our wives

·        children

·        in our relationships with other men in the Body of Christ

·        in society as a whole

4.  We men need to see that the entire world needs to come to know God’s love, and get busy.

Much of acting out of children is a result of something lacking in the relationship of their parents. Men: keep your promises to your wives and children—as much as is possible.