SOMEONE SPECIAL

Scripture Reading: I Chronicles 3:1

The Sons of David:

These were the sons of David born to him in Hebron:

The first-born was Amnon the son of Ahinoam of Jezreel,

the second, Daniel the son of Abigail of Carmel, and the list goes on and on.  19 in all plus Tamar their sister, and the sons and daughters born to his concubines. Solomon, one of his sons by Bathsheba, followed his father’s proclivity for FOREIGN WOMEN and vastly outdid his father.  Solomon had 700 WIVES, PRINCESSES, AND 300 CONCUBINES.

wives and concubines, BUT WHAT KIND OF A DAD WAS HE?  HIS SONS SPLIT THE KINGDOM.

In January of 1967,  your pastor became a father. At that point, I acknowledged the fact that “ANY MAN CAN BECOME A FATHER, BUT IT TAKES A SPECIAL MAN TO BE A DAD.”  About 5:30 that morning, I came to the realization that I had become “any man.” I am a father! I whispered to myself.  “Now what am I going to do? Will my son be like me, warts and all?”

My primary training for this day came from my own parents.   From the time I was a little tyke, I had watched them negotiate conflict among themselves.  They loved and honored each other and this mutual respect gave my two brothers and me a great sense of security. We knew our dad and mother had always consulted one another first.

From their example, I learned the most important thing any father can learn.  It is the secret to successfully making the transition from father to dad and amazingly, it has nothing to do with parenting skills.  The secret to being a great dad is for a man to always love and serve his wife---his children’s mother-–first.

Missing this truth is as dangerous as a coach preparing his team for the game next week rather than the one this week.  It is as treacherous as a sailor studying the weather maps for tomorrow’s forecast instead of preparing for the storm today.

Proverbs 17:6 “Children’s children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children.” tantalizes a man with the possibility of being the “glory” of his children.

 However, being a great dad is not achieved by pursuing fathering greatness,

·        it is the by product—the investment dividend—of a

·         selfless commitment to a successful marriage.

SEVEN TACTICAL STEPS TO BECOMING A GREAT DAD

Once a man has determined that his love for his wife is his priority, he then needs to build a game plan for success as a dad.

1.  Protection: Love Stands Guard

Psalm 32:8 says, “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go.”

One of the most amazing things that God has built into parents is the need to protect their young.  A dad’s job is to guard his children physically when they are young and defenseless, and emotionally as they grow and mature.  This protection spans every conceivable dimension, from teaching his son to respect power tools to interviewing the boys who intend on taking his daughter out for a date.

II. Conversation: Just Keep Talking

Genesis 45:15 says, “[Joseph] kissed all his brothers and . . . [they] talked with him.” 

Giving his children the things they need is the job of every dad.  The most precious gift, however, is not a thing it is a skill. That skill is the art of conversation.  When his children are young, learning to ask good questions and listening carefully to their answers builds a bridge that connects their hearts for a lifetime.  And, by the way, a dad needs to learn to listen with his eyes as well as his ears!

III. Affection: The Power of Touch

“[Jesus] took [the children}up in His arms” (Mark 10:16).  There may be nothing more important for a dad to learn than to understand the power of holding his children.  A dad’s touch communicates security and worth to a little person’s heart. Not being satisfied with simply greeting the children with a smile and a nod, Jesus also touched them.

IV. Discipline: Love Must be Painful. 

Proverbs 3:12 says, “For whom the LORD loves He corrects.”

The word discipline is both a verb and a noun. A dad’s goal is to be able to say, “My children have discipline. That is the noun—and guess where it comes from.  That is right—discipline, the verb.  When children learn the rigors of discipline –modeled by a father with self-discipline –their lives are filled with the confidence of having discipline.

V. Laughter: Fun to Live With

Proverbs 15:13 says, “A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance”

Guys, admit it. Most men are. . . well, they are boring.  We are:

·        too task oriented

·        too focused

·        too preoccupied to be any fun

·        and what can we do about this?

If I had it to do all over again, I think I would go to a bookstore and find some help.

·        I would buy some riddle book.  Aesop’s Fables are great!  These are neat little fables with practical moral lessons imbedded in them. Of course,

·        cartoon books, and humor books

·        We would watch less TV and

·        Read those books

·        Play games that did not plug into a wall or need batteries.

What I did do is this:  I had a set of Readers Digest condensed classics, which were richly illustrated.  Little Dan (about five years old) would climb up into my lap and I would read to him.  Many were the nights when he and I would fall asleep, the book would fall to the floor, and I would awake with a start and carry him to his bed. These dad and son times were precious.

We read:

·        The Bible

·        Robin Hood

·        Treasure Island

·        Swiss Family Robinson

·        Ivanhoe

·        Beau Guest

·        Jules Verne’s, 2000 Leagues Under the Sea

I mention 2000 Leagues last because that is the one that captured his developing imagination. He had already shown us an interest in water.

We taught Dan to swim when he was 18 months old. He loved to swim on top of the water and under the water.  When he was a teenager, he took up SCUBA diving and qualified both in the Atlantic and in the Bering Sea when he went to visit his Uncle in Alaska.

During his second enlistment in the Navy, Dan qualified as a Navy Diver.  He tried out for the SEALS, but did not have enough endurance.

He graduated from Massachusetts Maritime Academy. And today is a Nautical Engineer, serving as ship’s engineer with the Merchant Marines.

Through the fun times, we were able to pick up on his psychological leanings, and clear the path for him to become who he is.

VI. Faith: Jesus Loves Me

The Word has always been first in my family.  John 3:17 says,

“For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.” 

·        There may be no more horrible word in the English language than the word “lost.”

·        And there may be no more wonderful word than the word “found.”

·        Every dad begins his life as a lost man.  Only Jesus Christ has the power to truly find—save—that man. 

·        When a dad discovers this, then lives it before his family, nothing is ever the same again.

VII. Conduct: Loving Well -- Living Right

Romans 6:14, 15 says,

 “For sin shall not have dominion over you,

for you are not under law but under grace. 

What then?

 Shall we sin because we are not

under law but under grace?

 Certainly not!”

The following is a true story,

A man was a master fruit grower, his apples and peaches were the envy of farmers from nearly every surrounding zip code,  and ironically, he spent very little time working on his fruit.  Instead, most of his effort was spent on the health of the trees—

·        pruning

·        spraying

·        fertilizing.

·        Good conduct is good fruit.

·        PROTECTION,

·         CONVERSATION,

·        AFFECTION,

·        DISCIPLINE

·        LAUGHTER,

·        AND FAITH MAKE FOR GOOD KIDS.

 Ephesians 6:4 “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.”    

Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.   AMEN.